Tuesday, February 18, 2014

I smell smoke!

So here's the thing:
I grew up terribly afraid of spending the night places.  My mama was 100% supportive of this and if I was asked to spend the night at a friends, she would just simply tell the parents that I could come for awhile, but we were going out of town the next day so I couldn't spend the night.  It was GENIUS!  Rarely did we EVER actually go out of town, by the way.... and if we did it was about 1 hour away to a Target and a TJ Maxx!  (Not that either one of those are a bad thing... Love me some Target and TJ Maxx)  ANYWAYS, so let me take you back to 8th grade.....
  1. Still afraid to spend the night anyplace (seriously!)
  2. I had about 2 friends and was taller than all of the boys in my class.
  3. We had to go on a mandatory sleep over to a camp as a class.  (SOOOO NOT OK!)
This just completely set me up for disaster ~ there is no other way to put it.  But there I was, on the bus, on my way to the camp in the middle of nowhere!  Pardon me while I go and take some Robitussin - flashbacks!
I can PROUDLY say that I successfully spent the 1st night (there may or may not have been some Benadryl involved, but that is SO NOT THE POINT!) The next day we got dropped off in the woods in groups of 3 with a map and a compass (again, with the Robitussin) - I mean seriously people!  I remember it was raining, muddy, slippery and Praise the LORD I had group members that knew what they were doing or I would still be out there sucking my thumb and befriending squirrels.  By that evening I was a bit of a hot mess and ready to be done!  Not. Even. Kidding.  So there I sit in my cabin.  Me and my 2 friends.  Rehashing the days hideousness, when lo and behold we start to smell cigarette smoke!!!  (Cue the horror on my face!  Girlfriend has allergies and slight asthma AND is not a rule breaker... I was a freak of nature people!!!)... we sent down a brave little warrior from our group to go and inspect and sure enough some of the girls had smuggled in cigarettes in their bras and were smoking and it was coming up thru the heat vents.

Now, let's just remember that I was in 8th grade.  A nerd.  Uncomfortable in my pimpled skin AND ready to go home.... so I went to the first adult I laid eyes on and spilled the beans ~ Big TIME!  Don't be a hater y'all...... my glands were swollen, my nose was congested and I was SO OVER IT!  Enough said.
One of the chaperone's gave me a ride home ~ Hasta La Vista campground.... Kiss My GRITS! 
Fast forward to that next Monday.  Homeroom.  Word on the street was that the gang of Marlboro gals from downstairs at camp were going to kick. my. booty.  Let's just say I ran like I was being mugged from class to class for the following week and a half!  Legs flailing, backpack swinging.... I was a sight!  But hey, they NEVER caught me! Sorry ladies!
xo,
Red

p.s. I still run like I did in the 8th grade.
p.s.s. I still don't know how to use a compass.

Monday, February 17, 2014

tonight...

 
Tonight.....
 

 
we played treasure hunt (you wore your new bathingsuit and I wore clothing), did our fingernails (bright pink for you and dark red for mama) and ate cereal for a bedsnack (Lucky Charms, what else is there!?)
The perfect end to a day.
Love you sweet babe,
Your Mama (aka "Red")
 


Sunday, February 16, 2014

Too Good Not To Blog About It.....

So..... Here's the thing:
I know I have been pretty much absent for the past year or two (sorry y'all)..... But I do think about this little blog of mine quite a bit.  Honestly, I feel like there is alot pressure out there to be someone that is generating money from a blog, or doing FAB giveaways, or presenting beautiful pictures on each and every post, etc... and you know what? That just isn't me.  The thought of it makes me feel like a hot mess!  I am pretty much your average picture taker (lots of blurriness) love the job that I have outside of my home and if I have the chance to provide any awesome giveaways I promise to let you all know, after I have decided if I want to keep the prizes for myself or not (kidding... kinda)  My focus is on my faith, my family and just alot of really swell laughter!  Belly laughter!  So, if you are ok with simple... You have come to the right place!  WELCOME!  Thank you SO MUCH for visiting!!!

Now, without further ado... I give you my latest story.  Something I like to call:

"She is now named Carrot Top"
 
Saturday (yesterday... duh!) began like any normal day.  My husband was admiring me (or so I like to think... just go with it) in the kitchen, and asked out of the blue "Hey Marge, has your AARP card come in the mail yet?"  (Translation: You have ALOT of gray hair!!!!!) This sent me into a frenzy of going back and forth to the bathroom to inspect, running back into the kitchen and saying "It is NOT that bad!  Is it?"  back into the bathroom.... yelling "OMGeeeeeee! I am an old gray mare!" back into the kitchen "WHAT?  It isn't that bad!" and then out the door to go and buy a box of Clariol to cover up the hideous grays.  Fast forward about 30 minutes and que the screaming!!!!  The dye had done a few things:
  1. Not covered my gray hair. Seriously!?
  2. Left a large portion of my head the same color that I started with.
  3. The rest of my head was the color orange!  DARK ORANGE. 
NOT. EVEN. KIDDING.
This is the color my hair was.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT OK!
 
Fast forward another 30 minutes and there I sit at the salon pleading with them to fix what I had so badly done!  For reals!!!!  The poor little girl that was assigned to me even had to go and get her boss so they could consult their plan of attack.  This is never a good thing people.
In the end they had to color my hair a VERY dark brownish red.  (Traslation: dark red.)
Carrot top and I look like we were separated at birth.  Long lost brother and sister.  SERIOUSLY!
Lesson learned? YES!  My own plan of attack?  Embrace the situation, or course!  I painted my nails dark red and have repeatedly said "It's just hair!"  (whatever makes you feel better, right?!)  FYI: my daughter, ever the diva, noticed my nails instantly - she took one look at them and said, "Oh!  Your nails match your hair mama!!!!"
Feeling. The. Love.
Sincerely,
Red.