Thursday, June 10, 2010

Rollers... HOT rollers

“Women.... Who made 'em? God must have been a... genius. Their hair. They say that the hair is everything, you know? Have you ever buried your nose in a mountain of curls, and just wanted to go to sleep forever?” ~Bo Goldman, "The Start of an Education," made popular by the movie Scent of a Woman

My mother burst into this world on December 10, 1954 with a full head of black, gorgeous hair… and even though I wasn’t there I am quite positive that she had hot rollers in… poor grandma Wini! Did they have epidurals back then??? Now there is some definite strategy when it comes to these suckers… and Miss Leslie Kay had it nailed! I remember watching her put them in her hair in the mornings like she was born to do it (which it was because after all she did come out with them in, right?) and asking her if she would pleeease put them in my hair so I could have luscious locks like mother dearest. Her reply was usually something along the lines of “not this morning, we’re running late” or “I don’t know if I ’ll have any left Maggie.” because she would use all three rows. and all small, medium and large sized rollers to get the “poof” she so desired! (Makes me think of Snookie! Ha!) The woman has the thickest hair I have ever seen - SERIOUSLY! However, on a special occasion, or random day that she didn’t need all 56 curlers (that’s an estimate) she would decide to spare a curl for her youngest! I would pull a chair out at the kitchen table - plug those babies in and let them heat up - and in they would go! I would tell her I wanted to look like Blair, from the Facts of Life - remember her? The one with the To Die For long blonde curly hair? She’d say “I’ll do my best.“ and would put in the remaining curlers and I would close my eyes and dream about the end result - yes I was very putsy and usually made us run very late - after all we NEVER rode the school bus because the bus drivers short shorts scared me beyond belief! I believe he - yes HE is still out there hauling kids to school and back home again. Yikes!
Anyways, where was I… oh so I would leave the curlers in until the very last dog died and then slowly take them out and reveal the stunning, wavy, mind-numming curls I had so desired… USUALLY… Then there were the occasions where either my hair was too damp from washing it the night before OR the curlers weren’t quite hot enough and I would take the curlers out and plop… down went the straight chunk of nasty hair that I was so trying to escape! Ohhh man, WATCH OUT town of Alexandria, MN… This usually led to a curler being chucked across the bathroom or bedroom (depending on where I was taking them out) and screams of horror from my impatient, sailor like, mouth! Usually I was ignored from all ends of the house (dad in the kitchen washing his hair in the kitchen sink - (again, a whole nother story), mom running around frantically with her make-up on, white pants and lab coat on (she was a nurse and a “dang good nurse” as she likes to say) - complete with some funky bobbled seasonably correct pin - the kids loved her, and rollers still in tact - she didn’t mess around people! The curlers stayed in place until the last second) and depending on the year (we are 4 years apart in age difference) … my sister had either been picked up by a friend (lucky!) for school or was in college.) After my fit of rage I would usually cry, attempt to fix the nastiness that was my hair, but to no avail, and put a hat on, My mom would take me to school LATE with a note saying that I had had a doctors appointment and a stern warning: “Maggie. This is the LAST time this will happen!” (oh, little did she know I WOULD have curls tomorrow! Poor mother!) “Do you hear me young lady!? It is unacceptable!” and I would just think about my shattered dreams of “Blair Hair” and walk into school with puffy eyes and a doctors note.

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